The DiLauro Dossiers

Ever find yourself lying in bed, in the early morning, having one of those dreamy half-awake, half-asleep internal conversations? It happened to me again just this morning. Here’s how it went…

So, what is wrong with normal?

What the… Who are you?

I’m your alter-ego. Think of me as your internal, close-captioned, personal zeitgeist. I’m the yin to your yang. I zig when you zag.

You like clichés much?

I do tend to run on some

Really? Hadn’t noticed… Well, what do you want?

I want to keep tabs on you, check out what’s on your mind

Look pal, I’m not really into supervision… Hey, hang on a minute, this might be fun. You mind if I write stuff  down?

No, no, no. No writing down. When they sent for me, nobody said anything about writing things down. Plus, I’ve seen your work. I don’t want to be taken out of context

Taken out of context? What’s with you? Delusions of celebrity status? And what do you mean sent for? Who sent you here?

Your imagination

Aargh, I wish I could turn that thing off, just once…

Look I don’t have all day, so could we get started?

Alright, alright. Start with what?

Start by telling me what’s wrong with normal

Not much, I guess.

Not much? It’s in the title. That tells me something’s up

Hey, no peeking… You need to respect people’s privacy, man… Oh alright… Let’s just put it this way; the world has a tenacious appetite for it.

Normal?

Yeah.

What do you mean—tenacious appetite?

Here’s a theory. It’s not my theory. I first heard it from my friend Gwen. But I like it, and I’m using it. So there.

Yes, yes, very well. And that theory is?

That the range of normal is narrowing all the time.

Uh?

Let me express it another way. It seems, these days, there’s a hell of a lot of stuff getting tagged as abnormal.

For instance?

Did you know there’s medication for shyness?

So?

Well, wouldn’t the existence of medication suggest that shyness is abnormal?

I’m not sure, really

And it’s not called shyness anymore, either. There’s a fancy name for it—Social Anxiety Disorder. And, you can bet, when someone coins a fancy name for something, there’s a good chance those same someones not only want to label it abnormal—they want to give you medication for it.

So a cynic, eh? I had no idea. As your alter-ego, I really should be made aware…

And divorce.

Sorry?

Divorce.  Apparently that’s not normal either.

Do they have medication for that as well?

Hell, I don’t know. Look it up.

You’re combative too?

Sometimes. Is that normal? Do you think?

Hmm… I’m not sure

Look, forget all that. What I’m saying is there’s just too much pigeonholing going on.

How so?

Waddya mean, how so? Don’t alter-egos have magazines and TVs? You never saw those ads?

Ads? What ads?

The ones that start with, “Do you suffer from?” The list is endless… sleeplessness, sadness, short attention span, forgetfulness, moodiness…

OK, alright, I get the picture

What’s worse though are the supposedly abnormal behavioural traits.

Like shyness and divorce?

Yeah, then there’s the talkative and the taciturn; neither, apparently, is normal. Normal, it seems, only exists on a very narrow point, somewhere in the middle. What I’m saying is, society is getting damn fussy about normal. And, by extension, it’s overvaluing conformity.

You got something against conformity?

I’ve got something against what it leads to.

Explain

There is, I believe, A growing intolerance for non-conformity.

I’m not sure about that. I haven’t seen evidence of that… then again I’m an alter-ego, we don’t get out much

Look at it as a series of equations. If non-conformity equals not normal. And not normal equals bad. Then non-conformity also equals bad.

I, um, was never good at math. What does it all mean?

It’s simple, it means society frowns on non-conformity, and because non-conformity also equates with individuality, then society frowns on individuality.

Great, math again

Look, all I’m saying is that non-conformity—and individuality—should be encouraged, not shunned. I’m saying we need to stop pigeonholing everybody.

Why?

Because we risk becoming a world of automatons; over-medicated automatons coaxed into behaving within ever-narrowing parameters.

And?

We risk losing our true identity. We’re afraid to stand out, we become me-too-women and yes-men.

True identity’s important to you, uh?

Well, duh… Look, apart from stuff like creativity and expression—which, I think, flow from true identity—don’t you think it’s important for folks to just be themselves?

Well, I suppose..

And how are people going to feel comfortable about being themselves if we go around suppressing individuality?

What do you suggest then? Wear yellow socks? Do head-stands at the bus stop?

Hey, if that’s who you are, go for it. But there’s more to it than that. The point is, don’t be afraid to explore and demonstrate your uniqueness. Celebrate your individuality and let the world know what you stand for.

I’m not sure about all that, it sounds kinda weird

That’s it! Exactly it! Let’s all pronounce our individual weirdness, let’s advertise our non-normalcy. So what if I like honey in my coffee? Not normal to you? It is to me. So what if I like sitting with a group of  people, just listening to the conversation, hardly saying a word. That abnormal to you? Sue me. I like accordion music too. You don’t? Which of us is normal (or not)?

OK, OK, take it easy, er, hang on a sec…. Hello? Security? Can I get some backup down here?

Espousing my personal tastes isn’t enough of a gesture though… I know. Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll make a list of my individual beliefs. Just put them out there, tell everyone what it is that defines me. Screw it if you think I’m weird. Better yet, I’ll celebrate the fact you think I’m weird. And, even better than that, I’ll encourage all of you to express your weirdness.

Uh, what’s that you say? Where exactly will you be making this list?

Watch this space.

Kinda figured that

Listen, I gotta go. And no offence, but you won’t be showing up too often will you? It’s just that I kinda like working solo.

____________________

By the way, I’m messing about with fonts and was hoping to get comments about the fonts used on this post. So, waddya think? Too big? Too small? Or Goldilocks-right?

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  • Tags [Happiness, Perception]
  • Categories [About the Book]

Notable in the paper the other day, was a news item about The White House encouraging other countries to increase their rate of consumption.

It was an interesting read. Not because of Obama’s preoccupation with the consumptive patterns of foreign nations but, more so, because of the very emphasis on consumption itself.

It all reminded me of a conversation I had, many years back, with my good friend Alec.

Over a long coffee (in both time and type), Alec and I began discussing the unwritten expectations, the oblique rules that we—the everyday folk, the working schleps, the ones who rise with the sun, put in a hard day, and then get to go home so we can do it all again tomorrow—are encouraged to adhere to.

During our meandering debate, the topic turned to money, finance and the economy; and it was at that point that Alec mused a phrase I immediately liked. One that resonates with me still.

We are, Alec suggested, no more than foot soldiers; mere combatants in an economic battlefield.

Nodding in appreciation, and mulling it over, I replied that we are combatants, yes. But combatants with one clear mission.

To consume as much as is humanly possible.

To this day, I believe the numero uno behavioural trait the movers and shakers—the major domos of government and big business—stir up in us is our insatiable appetite for consumption. In this western way of life, society expects and encourages us to be unflagging, unwavering, tireless consumers—ones that, should our rate of consumption vary, it should do so by varying upward. Never downward.

And, when all goes well, when everyone is spending, that hum you hear is the sound of society’s economic engine smoothly ticking over, fuelled by the sweat of workers in mostly-offshore factories, and by the slack in your revolving line of credit.

It’s simple. Society wants us to consume, and then consume some more. Stop consuming, though, and the engine misfires, the gears stop turning; and all the hounds of hell break loose.

And yet, this addiction to consumerism, this devotion to mass consumption has left too many stressed out and tapped out—overextended in terms of health, time, lifestyle and credit.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not against consumption per se. I understand that consumption is the intricate, delicate variable in the economic equation of supply and demand. (And I do my bit too, having in the past assumed an occasional consumptive attitude myself).

What I object to, though, are the two G’s (growth and greed) that are all-too-evident in most economic, financial or business models.

What I also object to is government and big business’s relentless boosterism of mindless mass consumption, which provokes a greed-driven feeding frenzy which, ultimately, leads to a financial hangover that—yes you got it—many are still trying to recover from.

And what I even-more-strongly object to is this impossible belief, championed by the cheerleaders of marketing and advertising, that consumption leads to greater satisfaction, heightened self-worth and, ultimately, true happiness.

I object to that, because it ain’t so. It just ain’t so. Satisfaction, meaning, and true happiness doesn’t flow from the showroom floor nor is it found on the shelves of the latest hot retailer.

All I’m saying, I guess, is it’s time to reset our expectations. It’s time to tone down the growth and the greed. Even if it’s just by a little.

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  • Tags [Happiness, Perception]
  • Categories [About the Book]