October 3, 2011

Should we be scared?

I was too young for the Cuban missile crisis.
Too young to grasp the catatonic fear that lay behind those already scary words.
I remember the grownups though; my parents talking in hushed tones, the news anchor with his stern expression and his even more grave, more urgent, voice, recounting the latest nerve-wracking developments.
I remember, one night, my dad walking me to the corner store—dépanneurs we called them.
I remember men patrolling our neighbourhood. I remember barricades at each end of our road, and more men standing guard, one of them wearing a helmet. A World War II helmet. A German one.
“What are they doing?” I asked my dad.
“Keeping us safe son,” He said.
And I squeezed his hand a little harder as we walked by. Past people, people everywhere. Nervous people, apprehensive people. People completely terrified; nervous wrecks, chain-smoking Sweet Caporals, glancing skyward, expecting the worst. Praying for the best.

Okay. Okay.
Maybe I exaggerated that last bit.
Alright already. So maybe I made it up.
Yeah, the whole thing.
There were no men. No patrols. No late night walks past sentries and uniformed guards.
But there might have been.
I mean, what did I know about a missile crisis? I was only seven years old for crying out loud.
And even if I don’t remember that particular potential crise de coeur, I’m sure, to grownups, it was a scary time.
But to a seven year old? Pfft…

But, you know, the years unwind, and life, as per its own design and desire (if not necessarily mine), suddenly (or so it seemed) made me a grownup too.
And on my way to adulthood, I, all too often, stopped to snivel in my own generation’s versions of scary moments. Big ones, hyperbolic ones, end-of-the-world ones.
There was the Soviet Union; those big bad communists chafing at the bit, ever ready to fire their warheads in our direction. And then send the infantry in to finish off what the ICBMs failed to fry.
There was, too, my home turf—the province of Quebec—with its seventies version of home-spun terrorism.
We had the FLQ crisis, the Cross kidnapping and the Laporte murder.
We had the scourge of separatism and the threatened rampage of its evil stepchildren–unemployment, recession, civil war, and, as the final coup de grace, the potential invasion (or was it annexation?) by our friendly neighbour to the south.
We were warned too. Warned that the fall of a proud nation weighed upon us, should we do the unthinkable and vote for Monsieur Levesque and his Harvard-educated, British-sounding cronies (an irony that bemuses me still—separatists who spoke better English than federalists).

And the fear didn’t end there either.
The eighties brought double-digit inflation, and lending rates that gave orgasms to bankers.
We were, once again, headed for damnation; financial ruin, if the experts were to be believed, that is.
And, through it all, I believed.
Through it all, I was afraid.

Funny though.
Looking back, those scary events, most of them anyway, resulted in… nothing really.
There were dark moments, yes. They were dark episodes, true. And people—unfortunate innocent people—suffered.
But where was the cataclysm? Where was the destruction—to nationhood, to property and to freedom—that the experts had so gravely foreshadowed?
The PQ won the election, the helicopters were piloted out of Saigon, interest rates spiked, and Brezhnev sprouted his rhetoric.
And through it all, life went on. And the world didn’t come to an end.

I learned something though. Something important.
What I learned is that media and politicians are like little Skippy next door. The actual bark is always way worse than the threatened bite.
Let’s face it, fear sells. We all know that.
And no matter how much we remind ourselves of that fact, when something scary happens (or is about to) we’re attracted like moths to a hot, burning light. And we all know what happens to those moths.
So, for the sake of my own sanity and self-preservation, I perfected the fine art of skepticism. I learned to assume a yeah, right attitude.
Killer Bees? Y2K? SARS? H1N1? Yeah, right.

And now, and now…
We face another crisis.
One of a financial kind.
And even though I got damn good at ignoring so many other tales of impending doom; and even though I managed to, in the past, tune out those doomsayers—those Chicken Littles with credentials—here I am, today, wondering about this latest debt crisis.

In case you haven’t heard…
We have experts, journalists mostly, telling us things are going to get bad.
These experts are using serious words. Scary words.
Words like Default, and Bankruptcy and Depression.
And, in the other corner, we have opposing experts, politicians essentially, smoothing things over, assuring us in soothing voices that everything will be fine. Just a hiccup. A wee glitch, you see.

And here we are, those of us paying attention anyway, stuck in the middle, wondering what to make of this mess.
The question, therefore, is… Why am I telling you this?
Simple, really.
My theory is that people shouldn’t save for retirement. If you’re a regular reader, you’ll know my views on what I call The Retirement Myth.
Part II of my theory is that, rather than retirement, we should all actually be saving for a rainy day.

Which brings us to the point of this blogpost.
My point is, is this it? Are these the rainy days?
Well, if you listen to some experts, then yes, the rains will soon be upon us. Hard rain. Driving rain.
Two more things, then.
Are these experts right?
I don’t know. No one does, really.
Second thing.
If they are right, what should we do about it?
In my case, I’ve been reading up on what’s brought us to this threatened—this potential—abyss.
And over the next few weeks, I’d like to share with you some of what I’ve learned.
I believe you will find it interesting.

In the meantime, please tell me…
What do you think about all this? Are you worried? Are you paying it no mind?
Please let me know, I’d love to hear your views.

For those wondering why I’m not posting as often.
I’ve been busy. Busy with stuff. I have these workshops teed-up and happening. And I have another one in the planning phase, this one’s on cash-flow, cash-management. If you’re an entrepreneur, you’ll find it interesting and useful. It’ll be fun too. I’m making it creative. Gonna keep it lively. Yeah, I think you’ll like it.
Then, of course, there’s my latest book.
It’s in the works. It’s coming along.
The dead guy? The one I told you about who dies in Chapter One? He’s giving me a hard time; hesitant to divulge information, refusing to cooperate. Which, I guess is no surprise, given he’s dead and all.

In the meantime, if you’d like to read something par moi. Well, there’s always this book. If you haven’t read it, why not buy a copy.
If you have read it… uh, why not buy a second copy?
Okay, okay.
I’ll take my salesrep hat off.

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March 14, 2011

Why you don’t want a refund

 

 

Hey, psst, come here..
Listen up.
Have I got a deal for you.

You’ll love it
Starting today, and on the first of the month until… uh… forever, just lend me a few bucks—whatever you can afford.
Then, at the end of April (2012) I’ll return you your money. Ash-cay, baby!
Sweet deal, right?
C’mon, do the math.
You lend me, say, three hundred a month, and then, fourteen months from now, you get back (let’s see, fourteen times three hundred is…) Holy greenbacks, Batman!… That’s forty-two hundred big ones!
Not only that, but we can do it all over again the year after.
What a deal!

The fine-print
What?
Interest?
Uh, no. None of that.
What?
You insist that I pay interest on the money I’m borrowing?
Sorry, baby, but c’mon,
That’s just not part of the deal.
This here arrangement is straight in-straight out (yeah, yeah, I know it sounds like the latest Tory scandal. But trust me. It’s legit).
Here, let me run through the deets again.
You lend me three hundred per—for fourteen months. You get back forty-two hundred.
Like I said, in and out.
Hey, come back. Don’t walk away.
C’mon! Let’s talk.

Back-room dealings
It sounds like a back-room, black-market thing, doesn’t it?
And you wouldn’t do it, would you?
Even if it was above board you wouldn’t do it, right?
Your bank, for example… I bet you wouldn’t salt money away in a bank account if you got zero percent interest—would you?
Then why do most of you do it (and gladly, I might add) with an omnipotent, faceless and mysterious organization?

Why Indeed?
Based on a LinkedIn poll that crossed my path last week, more than a third of you are thrilled by the thought of receiving an income tax refund.

A Linked In Poll

You know what a tax refund is, right?
It represents a loan you made to the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA), a loan that they repaid to you, 4, 8, or even 14 months later.
Without interest.
It begs the question.
If you expect your bank to pay interest on the dough you deposit there, why are you sending your hard-earned dosh to CRA and why are you happy about getting it back with no interest?

The remedy
Yes I know, when viewed through this new lens, it makes no sense at all.
What I’m happy about, though, is there’s an easy fix for it.
So here’s the remedy, in six easy steps.
1) Find out why you’re getting the refund. Don’t be shy, ask your tax preparer. Is it because of monthly RSP contributions? Tuition expenses? Dependants? Whatever it is that triggers your refund, get a handle on it.
2) Based on what you learned in step 1, apply to have less tax deducted at source (that’s an accountant’s fancy way of saying, talk to your employer about taking less tax off your paycheque). Now, you  may have to apply to CRA, but don’t worry, your accountant or employer should be able to do it for you.
3) You are now in an enviable position of having a fatter paycheque (See? That bank commercial’s right. You Are Richer Than You Think!).
4) But hang on, don’t be going out to spend it all. That’s a no-no! Instead, take that extra dough and put it into a high-interest savings account, or some other safe, secure, steady investment account. Why?
5) Because when you file next year’s taxes, it might turn out that you owe CRA a few bucks.
6) Dance a jig and laugh all the way to the bank because you now turned the tables and borrowed money from the guv (interest free) and used it to earn a little bit of investment income on the side.

It’s called OPM, by the way––Other People’s Money. And isn’t it great when those other people are the guv?

What about you? Do you agree that a tax refund is a no-no? Please let me know by leaving a comment.

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February 28, 2011

When did THAT become important?

One of my top clients called. For advice.
Turns out a lawyer was warning her of dire consequences should she fail to have him draw up an important corporate document.
Her failure to comply, so the advocate claimed, would unleash forces so thunderous and so mighty, she’d swear the four horsemen were about to embark on another apocalyptic ride, only this time on Harleys–with straight pipes. That’s how mean and ornery they’d be.
I laughed as we spoke, at least at first.
I knew about the lawyer and his propensity for predicting legal ruination.

It got me to thinking
Why is everything so important?
What I mean is, no matter who you talk to, she (or he) will take pains to lecture you on the importance of… something or other.
Nothing, it seems, is trivial anymore.
Even Nabokov, who wrote of the importance of art to the artist that created it, would–today–scratch his head in bemusement over life’s little details that have suddenly become important.
Take dryer vents, for example.
Believe it or not, I’m aware of an appliance repairman—a wonderful chap (just in case he’s reading)—who obsesses over the importance of de-dusting dryer vents every year.
Dryer vents? When did they become important?

My lawn? But it’s January
Not only that, but there’s the lawn-care company owner who calls every January (January, for crying out loud! I live in Canada, do you have any idea how many tons of white stuff have to melt before I can even see my lawn?). Nonetheless he calls, every January, to remind me that, especially this spring, it’s truly important I don’t forget to have him aerate my lawn.

Everything’s important!
Accountants stress the importance of tax planning. Financial planners emphasize the importance of retirement strategies. HR professionals advise on the importance of employee P&P Manuals. Mechanics insist it’s important you flush your car’s cooling system. And if you’re male, and over fifty, your GP will tell you it’s very important you bend over and submit to the oh-so-nasty finger and glove procedure.

Sorry Nabokov
Look, I get it. People in any walk of life (and sorry Nabokov, because it’s not only artists), perceive importance in whatever it is they happen to do.
But there’s so much importance going around, especially if you manage a team, run a business or lead a non-profit organization, it sometimes becomes scarily overwhelming—like trying to juggle swords, with blades at both ends—greased ones, and you’re wearing a blindfold.

Importance Overload
All of which leaves you with, I hate to admit, a case of importance overload—a crazed, counterproductive state much like the frantic mess that Helen Hunt displays in this excerpt (see below) from As Good as it Gets.
(The movie, in case you’re interested, is one of my top-five, best-ever, stranded-on-a-desert-island-with-a (somehow)-working-DVD-player movies. Along with a wonderful plot and a great cast, it’s got a larger-than-life Jack Nicholson who so-casually sucks the air out of every scene. Leaving me to wonder how come the other actors didn’t just fall over from asphyxiation).

But anyway
Watch the video, and if you find yourself identifying with Helen Hunt’s near-raving distress (although, one could only hope, for vastly different reasons), then pay special attention to Shirley Knight’s solution (at the video’s 3:10 mark).
Because, sometimes, we just need to walk away from all that importance. At least for a little while.

What about you? Do you sometimes suffer from information overload? Please leave a comment.

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February 21, 2011

40 questions

What if?                     You said, “I will” rather than, “I’ll try.”
What if?                     There’s one person standing between you and your dream
What if?                     That one person is you
What if?                     You have superpowers
What if?                     You only need to realize you do
What if?                     You said, “I’ll do it” rather than, “Someone should.”
What if?                     You created opportunity rather than waited for it
What if?                     It is rocket science, and you’re the only one with a Ph.D
What if?                     Money does grow on trees
What if?                     Your resourcefulness & imagination are the roots
What if?                     You won’t enjoy retirement
What if?                     Greed was illegal
What if?                     Business understood social responsibility
What if?                     Sir Isaac Newton was wrong
What if?                     Nothing is real
What if?                     Everything is
What if?                     Jagger had stayed at the London School of Economics
What if?                     After being laughed off stage, Charlie Parker had simply quit
What if?                     Beethoven had said, “I’m deaf, I can’t write music.”
What if?                     Robert Johnson hadn’t gone to the crossroads
What if?                     Warhol only got 15 minutes too
What if?                     Dreamers stopped dreaming
What if?                     We’re all cheering you on
What if?                     You’re not listening to us
What if?                     Nothing is mutually exclusive
What if?                     Everything is possible
What if?                     Loathing didn’t exist
What if?                     Hatred was outlawed
What if?                     Cartoons are real life
What if?                     Real life is a cartoon
What if?                     You listen to your heart
What if?                     You ignore the negative chatter of naysayers
What if?                     There’s no such thing as failure
What if?                     The idea you’re hesitant to share is the one that will bowl us over
What if?                     There’s a masterpiece inside you, just waiting to come out
What if?                     The world is waiting for you
What if?                     It’s you we’re all counting on
What if?                     It’s all a dream
What if?                     Dreams do come true

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